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[toabsolution]

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[toabsolution]

[He nods.]

Course.

[stand_unshaken]

You got feelings for her? I ain't talkin' marriage, but more'n friendship?

[toabsolution]

[He was expecting a trap. This isn't a trap. Still, he shifts a bit because it's not exactly a comfortable topic. And not one that's he's shared with Tess herself. Not in words, at least.]

Yeah. Course I do. I ain't that kinda man, Arthur.

I like her. I like her a lot. She tough. She's smart. She doesn't take shit from anyone. But she...she wants good in her life, too. Soft shit she never could have before. And I want her to have that, too.

[He taps the glass against the table, clearing his throat awkwardly.]

[stand_unshaken]

[He doesn't want to embarrass him, but Tess had reacted so intensely to even the suggestion that she might have 'caught feelings' that he had to ask. And it appears that their answers lie very far apart.

Arthur wouldn't have minded it if he were that kinda man. Not that Arthur is, exactly, but he's been with women he didn't love before. It only ever brought him more grief, but it means he'd understand if it was that kind of an arrangement.

But it isn't. He takes a drink and swills the liquor around his mouth before swallowing.]

She deserves that. If she's askin' you about those things, tellin' you about 'em, then I can only be happy for her. But I don't -

[He rubs a hand over his mouth.]

I don't know that she's aware of the extent of your feelings. Or, better yet, her own.

[toabsolution]

Hm.

[Love is not on his mind. But caring is. Like is. Affection is. All of those emotions lie very close to his heart, but he knows he's private about them normally. Arthur is different. Arthur's, well, to say he's a friend would cheapen it.

He'll tell him anything.

Still, there's truth to what he says and he adds it onto the pile of nonsense he has to talk to Tess about.

Shit.

He sighs, pulling himself up.]

You think the next time you drop by, maybe you just take me fishin'?

[stand_unshaken]

How 'bout you shoot me a message after you have that talk with Tess, and I'll still take you fishing?

[He gets up as well, knocks his drink back, and lands a heavy hand on Jake's shoulder.]

You're a good fellow, Jake.

[toabsolution]

[He's starting to think he might need a drink and a trip after this talk with Tess. Either way, it's not going to be as easy as he anticipated.]

Yeah. Alright.

[He reaches up and puts a hand over his, just briefly.]

Stay outta trouble.

[stand_unshaken]

[He gives him a crooked smile as he turns to go.]

Been tryin' my whole life.

Text

[dog_eat_dog]

Got a minute?

Re: Text

[toabsolution]

Yeah. Got a few.

Text

[dog_eat_dog]

[A pause. She's been delaying on this for at least a week, and no matter how many times she's had to hold her nose and do something unpleasant, it never feels easy.]

Deck in five?

Re: Text

[toabsolution]

Sure thing.

[He's up there in five, pulling a bit of paper and tobacco from inside his pocket as he walks to the deck.]

Text

[dog_eat_dog]

[She's there already. She's wearing a shirt dress today, about as practical as it gets when it comes to dresses, and her hair is loose. She turns to look when she hears him coming, and she finds herself briefly pursing her lips. The impulse to change her tact threatens to overwhelm her; just a glance over him has her thinking about being pinned to the wall and flushing clear up to her roots.

But she has to hold fast. Be cool about it. She's good at that.]

How you been?

[toabsolution]

[He looks up, sees her in that dress, feels himself falter a bit. He runs his tongue along the paper and rolls it up, giving himself something else to think about, something to do with his hands. Because as much as he wants to have that back, he knows that it's not good. None of it's good. For either of them.

The question, though, gives him pause.

Honesty. He's supposed to be honest.]

Been better. Breach was - well, a breach.

You?

[dog_eat_dog]

Alright. Breach was weird. Still trying to figure out where I go from that.

[She could dig into the Admiral's fascination with her being a mother, and all that ways it digs at her, but that's a thought for another time. Task at hand:]

So.

[toabsolution]

[He lights the end of the cigarette, shaking his head.]

So nothin'. You ain't gotta tell me anything, Tess. I mean...the way we left it, the way I left it was shitty, hm?

[dog_eat_dog]

[She doesn't even bother to hide her mild surprise at hearing him say that. She smooths over.]

Yeah. I figured you probably didn't even want to talk to me again after that.

[toabsolution]

[He's equally bewildered by her reaction, taking a drag of his cigarette to mask it.]

Huh. No. I-

[He stares at the stars.] Never wanted to hurt you, Tess. And I know I did.

[dog_eat_dog]

[She feels sometimes like if there's anything she's an expert in, it's not smuggling guns or finessing ration cards or sneaking around clickers, it's picking men who can't even look her in the eyes when they say shit like that. Not sorry, just I fucked up. Not I apologize, just I didn't want to do it, but I did anyway.

But it's a start, isn't it? Maybe?

If she hadn't come here already thinking it was over, getting an admission of guilt when she invited him here might have been the last nail in the coffin.

Fuck this, she thinks, but it's about a half second away from the thought that she's going to regret this for a long time.

She takes a deep breath that feels like it could be a sigh and just nods.]

I wasn't exactly a peach either. But I was thinking... maybe it was all a fantasy anyway. You said I know you, but that’s not true. I don’t know you. I don't know you because you don’t know you.

[A brief pause, a plucking up of resolve.]

And you don't know me, at least not well enough to not hurt me.

[toabsolution]

[He laughs at that, though the sound isn't amused as much as it is a little sad.]

Yeah. You don't think people who don't know you can't hurt you?

[But that's not really the point.]

I'm gonna fix it, Tess. Gonna go home and take care of 'em myself. Ain't fair to Trouble to put that on them and just hope that someone else can fix me in the meantime. I can't do what I need to unless I know who the hell I am.

[dog_eat_dog]

[She's markedly less enthused, glancing away for a moment. No remark on that first bit. No real desire to remark on the second, either, but she's this far in already.]

Good luck, then.

[She does mean that sincerely. Might as well have one man she's been into grow.]

[toabsolution]

[He takes the luck, resists the urge to say something sarcastic in return. He wants to believe that it's genuine because, well, it feels good to think that she means it. Because despite what he says and what he tells her, he does care for her. He doesn't know her, but he knows that much. He always will.]

I'll be back when I can.

Maybe we can start over then.

[Of course, he'll go no-contact if that's what she wants. But there will always be a part of him that's drawn to her. They had things in common. They talked, even when it seemed like things were only physical. Those are the parts he cares about.]

[dog_eat_dog]

[She nods.]

I'd like that.

[She's not sure of how serious he is, but she'll go out on a limb for it. It doesn't have to be scorched earth, not again.]

[toabsolution]

[Something uncoils in his chest, something he didn't even know was there. He was going to do this no matter what, but hearing her say that makes it seem less of a trek.]

Yeah. Alright.

You take care of yourself, huh?

[dog_eat_dog]

Of course. You too, yeah? Don't get blown up by any aliens or anything, I like you in one piece.