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[toabsolution]

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[toabsolution]

[He lights the end of the cigarette, shaking his head.]

So nothin'. You ain't gotta tell me anything, Tess. I mean...the way we left it, the way I left it was shitty, hm?

[dog_eat_dog]

[She doesn't even bother to hide her mild surprise at hearing him say that. She smooths over.]

Yeah. I figured you probably didn't even want to talk to me again after that.

[toabsolution]

[He's equally bewildered by her reaction, taking a drag of his cigarette to mask it.]

Huh. No. I-

[He stares at the stars.] Never wanted to hurt you, Tess. And I know I did.

[dog_eat_dog]

[She feels sometimes like if there's anything she's an expert in, it's not smuggling guns or finessing ration cards or sneaking around clickers, it's picking men who can't even look her in the eyes when they say shit like that. Not sorry, just I fucked up. Not I apologize, just I didn't want to do it, but I did anyway.

But it's a start, isn't it? Maybe?

If she hadn't come here already thinking it was over, getting an admission of guilt when she invited him here might have been the last nail in the coffin.

Fuck this, she thinks, but it's about a half second away from the thought that she's going to regret this for a long time.

She takes a deep breath that feels like it could be a sigh and just nods.]

I wasn't exactly a peach either. But I was thinking... maybe it was all a fantasy anyway. You said I know you, but that’s not true. I don’t know you. I don't know you because you don’t know you.

[A brief pause, a plucking up of resolve.]

And you don't know me, at least not well enough to not hurt me.

[toabsolution]

[He laughs at that, though the sound isn't amused as much as it is a little sad.]

Yeah. You don't think people who don't know you can't hurt you?

[But that's not really the point.]

I'm gonna fix it, Tess. Gonna go home and take care of 'em myself. Ain't fair to Trouble to put that on them and just hope that someone else can fix me in the meantime. I can't do what I need to unless I know who the hell I am.

[dog_eat_dog]

[She's markedly less enthused, glancing away for a moment. No remark on that first bit. No real desire to remark on the second, either, but she's this far in already.]

Good luck, then.

[She does mean that sincerely. Might as well have one man she's been into grow.]

[toabsolution]

[He takes the luck, resists the urge to say something sarcastic in return. He wants to believe that it's genuine because, well, it feels good to think that she means it. Because despite what he says and what he tells her, he does care for her. He doesn't know her, but he knows that much. He always will.]

I'll be back when I can.

Maybe we can start over then.

[Of course, he'll go no-contact if that's what she wants. But there will always be a part of him that's drawn to her. They had things in common. They talked, even when it seemed like things were only physical. Those are the parts he cares about.]

[dog_eat_dog]

[She nods.]

I'd like that.

[She's not sure of how serious he is, but she'll go out on a limb for it. It doesn't have to be scorched earth, not again.]

[toabsolution]

[Something uncoils in his chest, something he didn't even know was there. He was going to do this no matter what, but hearing her say that makes it seem less of a trek.]

Yeah. Alright.

You take care of yourself, huh?

[dog_eat_dog]

Of course. You too, yeah? Don't get blown up by any aliens or anything, I like you in one piece.

[toabsolution]

[This time, the laugh, though soft, is real.]

That's the plan, Tess.

I'll seeya soon.

[dog_eat_dog]

[She smiles despite herself and rocks forward on her feet like she might take a step towards him, but she stays put.]

Yeah. See you soon.