[That takes the wind out of his sails almost completely. He clenches his teeth a bit, considering. Quiet.]
I-
I was a fuckin' coward. And I didn't want to tell you because of it. You happy?
[It helps that he's already had to do this song and dance with DT. It doesn't feel good and he really wants to get up and walk out but, well, it's his cabin and that just seems ridiculous.]
[He was expecting a trap. This isn't a trap. Still, he shifts a bit because it's not exactly a comfortable topic. And not one that's he's shared with Tess herself. Not in words, at least.]
Yeah. Course I do. I ain't that kinda man, Arthur.
I like her. I like her a lot. She tough. She's smart. She doesn't take shit from anyone. But she...she wants good in her life, too. Soft shit she never could have before. And I want her to have that, too.
[He taps the glass against the table, clearing his throat awkwardly.]
[He doesn't want to embarrass him, but Tess had reacted so intensely to even the suggestion that she might have 'caught feelings' that he had to ask. And it appears that their answers lie very far apart.
Arthur wouldn't have minded it if he were that kinda man. Not that Arthur is, exactly, but he's been with women he didn't love before. It only ever brought him more grief, but it means he'd understand if it was that kind of an arrangement.
But it isn't. He takes a drink and swills the liquor around his mouth before swallowing.]
She deserves that. If she's askin' you about those things, tellin' you about 'em, then I can only be happy for her. But I don't -
[He rubs a hand over his mouth.]
I don't know that she's aware of the extent of your feelings. Or, better yet, her own.
[Love is not on his mind. But caring is. Like is. Affection is. All of those emotions lie very close to his heart, but he knows he's private about them normally. Arthur is different. Arthur's, well, to say he's a friend would cheapen it.
He'll tell him anything.
Still, there's truth to what he says and he adds it onto the pile of nonsense he has to talk to Tess about.
Shit.
He sighs, pulling himself up.]
You think the next time you drop by, maybe you just take me fishin'?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I don't have a wife back home, Morgan. She's dead. And of course she knows. I...told her.
[Didn't he? Suddenly he isn't so sure.]
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You might want to check with her on that.
Why didn't you tell me?
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[He taps the table once.]
Almost did. At the port. But...ain't just my story to tell, is it? And what the fuck was I supposed to say?
[Not good excuses and he knows it.]
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[He bares his teeth at him in lieu of telling him just that.]
You're part of it. She wanted it to stay a secret for some damn reason, but you still went along with that.
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Because of this goddamn reason right here, Morgan. This ain't exactly what I want to talk to you about. And after that goddamn breach-
And fuckin' Misty-
[He throws his hands up slightly.]
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What about Misty?
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[He shakes his head.]
I shoulda said somethin' to you. I didn't. I even...Fuck, I even said somethin' to Tess about it.
[But that's not Arthur's business.]
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It ain't about the fact that you two are doin' - whatever the hell you're doin'. You know it ain't.
But I lied a lot in my life, and I been lied to just as much. I'm tryin' to break that habit. Especially with people I considered to be friends.
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I-
I was a fuckin' coward. And I didn't want to tell you because of it. You happy?
[It helps that he's already had to do this song and dance with DT. It doesn't feel good and he really wants to get up and walk out but, well, it's his cabin and that just seems ridiculous.]
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[Arthur sits back and sips his whiskey while Jake thinks about it. He can take his time - Arthur usually does.
And when he finally comes out with it, Arthur's answer is simple: he nods and takes another drink.]
Believe it or not, I am.
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So now I gotta talk to her.
[He downs his glass with a bit of a laugh.
Shouldn't be a big deal.
They talk all the time.]
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She knows something's comin', since I brought the relationship up with her to begin with. Just - be her friend, first and foremost?
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Then it got...fuckin' complicated.
[He stares at the table a moment.]
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[He pauses a moment, then carefully asks him:]
What's so complicated about it?
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Not something I like.
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Hmm. Ask you a question, and don't lie to me?
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Course.
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You got feelings for her? I ain't talkin' marriage, but more'n friendship?
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Yeah. Course I do. I ain't that kinda man, Arthur.
I like her. I like her a lot. She tough. She's smart. She doesn't take shit from anyone. But she...she wants good in her life, too. Soft shit she never could have before. And I want her to have that, too.
[He taps the glass against the table, clearing his throat awkwardly.]
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[He doesn't want to embarrass him, but Tess had reacted so intensely to even the suggestion that she might have 'caught feelings' that he had to ask. And it appears that their answers lie very far apart.
Arthur wouldn't have minded it if he were that kinda man. Not that Arthur is, exactly, but he's been with women he didn't love before. It only ever brought him more grief, but it means he'd understand if it was that kind of an arrangement.
But it isn't. He takes a drink and swills the liquor around his mouth before swallowing.]
She deserves that. If she's askin' you about those things, tellin' you about 'em, then I can only be happy for her. But I don't -
[He rubs a hand over his mouth.]
I don't know that she's aware of the extent of your feelings. Or, better yet, her own.
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[Love is not on his mind. But caring is. Like is. Affection is. All of those emotions lie very close to his heart, but he knows he's private about them normally. Arthur is different. Arthur's, well, to say he's a friend would cheapen it.
He'll tell him anything.
Still, there's truth to what he says and he adds it onto the pile of nonsense he has to talk to Tess about.
Shit.
He sighs, pulling himself up.]
You think the next time you drop by, maybe you just take me fishin'?
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How 'bout you shoot me a message after you have that talk with Tess, and I'll still take you fishing?
[He gets up as well, knocks his drink back, and lands a heavy hand on Jake's shoulder.]
You're a good fellow, Jake.
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Yeah. Alright.
[He reaches up and puts a hand over his, just briefly.]
Stay outta trouble.
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[He gives him a crooked smile as he turns to go.]
Been tryin' my whole life.